Lady Mae's Story and a little of mine

This is a story of friendship, love, trust, healing, forgiveness, and, most importantly, spiritual growth.

It is the story of Lady Mae and how her short life profoundly impacted our family and helped me work through some very heavy burdens.

Her journey was one of resilience and the lessons she taught are ones we can all benefit from.

When I think about all the years she should have had to play with her best friends, snuggle with or crawl on top of her biggest fan, and annoy me while I'm cooking, I'm left feeling heartbroken and full of questions.

Questions like: Why her? Why now? Did I do everything I could? Did I miss something? Did I let her down? Did I wait just a few days too long? Or, is every action and inaction exactly the way Lady Mae's story was to unfold?

One thing I know for certain is Lady Mae was loved and well cared for in her eighth life. Her time was short, but full of meaning and purpose.

I can't thank my husband, Jeff, enough for all he did for Lady Mae. He was right there anytime she needed anything.

Their connection with each other is unlike anything I've seen before. He took her to almost all of her appointments and was her primary caregiver through most of her life.

Lady Mae did not like me giving her her medicine, she literally would run from me when she was feeling good enough to run. Jeff could give it to her without any issues at all and I'm sure that has a lot to do with Jeff's calmness, they shared a similar aura in many ways. I believe 100% this was not by chance alone.

I also want to thank John way over in Australia. There were so many times through this whole ordeal that I didn't know if I was making the right decision and John was always there to listen and offer guidance, insight, and support.

As you will later read, I had a surprise trip planned for Jeff's birthday in the beginning of April. That was during a pivotal time with Lady Mae, and John helped me work through the guilt I had about going and the guilt I had about canceling the trip.

There are so many other people in our lives who also have supported us through Lady Mae's illness in various ways. My friends, Lauren and Amber, always listened and asked how Lady Mae was doing as did so many other friends.

So many people on YouTube and Facebook also asked for updates and sent their compassion and love right through the invisible airwaves. It truly meant a lot to us. There are so many that I can't possibly name everyone, but I know I can speak for Jeff when I say thank you from both of us.

Blame Will Get You Nowhere

Before I go into Lady Mae's story, which is a long one, I want to be very clear that I do not blame our local vet or Mississippi State Vet School for anything. It may come across like I do in some of the details, but that is frustration regarding the systems in place and has nothing to do with the people and professionals that played a part in Lady Mae's life. Everyone did their best and we thank them.

Lady Mae and Boots Join the Family

In the early spring of 2023, we were visited by a few furry critters that, like chickens, should only live outside. Mice.

Unlike chickens, mice get in even when you don't open your doors wide and they were very much not welcome. So, the cat discussion began.

We had lost our cat, Winslow, in a tragic and very upsetting incident, and both Jeff and I said we would never bring another cat into our household. I have never spoken publicly about that tragedy, but it will become a very important part of Lady Mae's story.

Jeff has always loved all animals, but cats just weren't his favorite. The hassle of the litter box with the dogs is enough deterrent, and I was in total agreement before Micky and Minnie's entire family moved in while we were on a trip.

It came down to which is worse, the dogs thinking cat litter clumped poo and pee is a delicacy or mice in the house. I voted 5,000 times that mice were worse and Jeff appeased me and agreed to get cats, but we had to get two so they were company for each other.

I think he really thought these additions to our family were utilitarian and meant only to be fed and watered so they could do their job and eradicate our house of the mice. That was not to be the case at all. In fact, they never caught one mouse, that job fell on Jeff and he did a great job! We remain mouse free to this day.

We started asking around about adopting two cats. One of Jeff's co-workers had an indoor/outdoor momma with a litter of kittens, and it seemed like a good fit for us. He sent a brief video of the kittens, and Jeff, without any hesitation, chose Lady Mae, and I chose Boots.

I don't know why I picked the name Boots, I didn't even know if she truly had "boots," but it popped into my head and our black and white kitten had a name. Jeff took this picture months after she was named.

Jeff named the calico after a song by Tyler Childers called Lady May. Little did he know at that time that Lady Mae would cut his roots away and he would fall very hard for her. Or, maybe he did know. It was soon to become obvious that there was a connection between the two of them before they even met.

To this day I do not know why Jeff named Lady Mae after that particular song. I'm not even sure if he knows why and I haven't asked because, for some reason, I think whatever meaning or feeling it has for him is his to hold and not give away.

What I do know is the guy who was rooted in not getting cats took one look at Lady Mae and fell hard.

This verse is fitting for my loving husband and his Lady Mae.

Now, I ain't the toughest hickory
That your ax has ever felt
But I'm a hickory just as well
I'm a hickory all the same
I came crashin' through the forest
As you cut my roots away
And I fell a good long ways
For my lovely, Lady May

https://youtu.be/yxfo4Jfpc-c?si=gBXh4SSFD3Iv4b4P

Lady Mae and Boots were only 4 weeks old when we told his coworker that we would give them a home, so we waited until they were fully weaned from momma, and Jeff picked them up on July 9th.

This is one of the first pictures we took of them. I can't remember, but it may have been right after their first bath. I think Lady Mae was looking at Jeff while I was taking the picture.

Boots was, and is, a beautiful black and white kitten full of spunk and vocal from the very beginning.

Lady Mae was a polydactyl calico, perfect in every way. From the very first day we met her, she had a special aura.

She played and was full of energy, just like her sister, but even in play, she was the quieter and calmer one of the two.

Boots might look like the calmer one in this picture, but she was probably thinking about how to pounce and knock Lady Mae down.

Jeff was so taken with Lady Mae and her with him. Of course, we loved them both immediately, but Jeff and Lady Mae bonded like I've never seen a kitten bond with a human. It was instant and stayed that way throughout Lady Mae's short life.

We kept the kittens at our studio for a few days until they could have their first vet appointment, be vaccinated and dewormed. We bathed both the kittens to get rid of any fleas since they were too young to be treated and that was probably the first time I really saw the grace and peacefulness in Lady Mae. She was classy and tolerant in every way.

Boots handled the bath well and only squirmed a little bit, but Lady Mae actually enjoyed it. She was calm and had full trust in us.

Kittens First Checkup

On July 11th they had their first vet appointment and were both given a clean bill of health. They had their vaccines, were dewormed, had no signs of fleas.

• Cheristin was given as flea protection
• Panacur was given as the dewormer
• FVRCPC/FELV Combo was given as a vaccine

This feels like a good time to explain why the song is called Lady May, and we spell our little girl's name Lady Mae. It was a simple error by the vet's office. They spelled it wrong when Jeff took them in for their first appointment and it simply stayed that way. Having never looked up the song, I just thought that is how it was spelled.

It's fitting because Lady was anything but ordinary so she should have a flair in the spelling of her name. She's classy and Lady Mae is a classy name.

With a clean bill of health, it's time to introduce the dogs to Lady Mae and Boots.

The Kittens Meet the Rest of the Family

This was probably the hardest time for me. I didn't trust the dogs and I loved the kittens so much. They were so small and the dogs are so big.

Our dogs are not normally aggressive, and I don't ever want to give the impression that they are, but the tragedy with our last cat left me with a lot of emotions that I still needed to work through. Little did I know at the time, but Lady Mae would heal our entire family from that tragedy.

This process was done over a period of a few weeks and started at the studio where the cats still called home. We brought the dogs over one at a time at first and then progressed to all three dogs and both kittens.

The kittens had zero fear and took to the dogs immediately. I was a nervous wreck.

Some may say that being nervous is normal when introducing new animals to each other, but my degree of nervousness wasn't normal. In fact, my anxiety was so high I made everyone in the room nervous, including the dogs.

It was clear that I was detrimental to this process, so I had to let Jeff work his animal whisperer magic, which he did.

The kittens came home to our house in Tennessee and everyone got along great. Of course, we did not just leave the kittens and the dogs together unattended; one of us was always right there if they were together.

Happy Times

The next several months were happy times at the Long house.

Jeff worked with the dogs even more after the kittens came home to Tennessee (without me there to freak out at every little dog or cat movement). He got the 5 animal house in such good shape that the dogs and cats didn't just get along, they loved each other and were best friends.

I remained cautious (aka a nervous wreck anytime any animal moved suddenly, and cats jump and move suddenly all the time!), but eventually, I got to the same place as the rest of the family.

As I look at the picture of Lady Mae with Callie, my heart is filled with so much love and so many great memories.

Lady Mae entered this world without fear and lived her life without fear. It was as if she knew no external force or being could or would harm her.

Both Boots and Lady Mae loved the dogs, but their relationship with them was different. Boots was and still is one of the "dogs." She runs with the dogs in the house, she swats at the dogs in play, and teases the dogs with her ability to jump up on things when they can't. She is a rough and tumble cat and fearless in her own right. Boots was always a protector of Lady Mae, the big sister.

We usually kept the door closed when food was down for the cats because the dogs LOVE cat food and the litter box is also in that room and as gross as that is, dogs love that too!

However, we are human and sometimes forgot to close it. We learned really quickly how fast Boots can run down the hall! Gus would often sneak his way in there, but there was no sneaking past Boots. She would run, leap, and slide down the hall to reach the food way before Gus could get there and as he approached, Boots would pounce on top of him and swat his nose so Lady Mae could eat in peace.

Lady Mae and the dogs always had a more loving and less of a brother-sister relationship then Boots and the dogs. You could oftentimes find Lady Mae snuggled up next to Callie or George in the bed. Gus and Lady Mae would kiss with their noses and then go off in their own direction. The dogs were always calm and gentle with Lady Mae, did they know she was sick before anyone else? I wish I could ask them.

We were all living life as if it would go on this way for infinity, but that wasn't the case. It is never the case. The one constant thing in life is change.

How we deal with the changes helps to sculpt the life we live. We have choices, there are always choices. Knowing which choice is the best one is the hard part.

Whenever I struggle with which choice to make, I remember something Jeff said to me many years ago, "Make the choice you have the least chance of regretting."

Now, those are words to live by.

Upper Respiratory Infection

We only had one little thing happen in first month after adopting the kittens and that wasn't any cause for concern. Lady Mae started having drainage from her eyes. I've had enough cats to know this was a simple upper respiratory infection and a pretty normal occurrence in young cats that is easily treated.

Jeff took them to the vet (I was working), and Lady Mae and Boots were treated for an upper respiratory infection. I'm not even sure if Boots had any symptoms, I can't remember because it really was a non-issue at the time. It was wise to treat them both even if Boots didn't have an active infection. They finished their treatment and we moved on.

Hindsight is always 20/20 and if I knew then what I know now, perhaps Lady Mae's story would have a different ending or a different trajectory, but we don't have crystal balls and nothing about a common upper respiratory infection in a kitten would allow anyone to predict what was to come for our Lady Mae.

Lady Mae and Boots were symptom-free and never had another respiratory infection. They both were normal kittens who did kitten things and entertained people during some of my live streams by playing on the pool table.

Lady Mae's Bond with Jeff

Lady Mae continued to be Jeff's bestie. She sat on his guitar to remind him to put it away because it is expensive. She perched and looked over his shoulder to make sure he was doing what he was supposed to be doing while working and not goofing off.

She also sat on his keyboard to remind him to take a break and pet her.

She sure did love to be held by Jeff. He could pick her up and she would rest her head on his chest and stay there even if he was walking around the house.

Cats are usually not like that. They are fiercely independent, and they control when and if you can hold or pet them. Lady Mae loved to be held by Jeff anytime, anywhere.

Their love for each other was immeasurable and their bond is unbreakable even in death.

The First Sign of Trouble with Lady Mae

Fast-forward to mid-November 2023. This is when I first started noticing that Lady Mae would walk up to a wall and lick it. While it's not unusual for cats to lick things, this behavior was odd. Maybe it was more about her facing the wall intently while licking it, but something felt off.

I talked about it during a LIVE Q&A and asked if anyone had encountered it with a cat of theirs. I had a lot of good suggestions and decided it was time to do some research and talk to our vet.

There were no other signs or symptoms that something was wrong with Lady Mae. She was just as active, eating and drinking fine. There was absolutely no indication of what was to come. Again, hindsight... and I so wish I had that crystal ball... or do I?

Or, at the very least thought to check her gums, but even though I was a nurse for many moons, it didn't occur to me. I simply thought it was a weird behavior, but I did start doing research online.

I didn't find anything concrete linking her weird licking behavior to anything serious. Everything I read pointed to a behavior issue rather than a health issue, or maybe that is what I wanted to believe. I'm not sure.

I did look into various things and Pica was one that came up. I did see one article that linked anemia to Pica, but Lady Mae didn't have Pica. I was around her enough to know she wasn't chewing or eating anything but her food. I dismissed Pica and that link to anemia.

I briefly looked at Feline Leukemia, and a few other things, but Lady Mae was screened for Feline Leukemia and had the vaccine, or so I assumed.

We were taking a trip to see family for Thanksgiving and decided it would be best to board the kittens at our vet's, where the dogs were being boarded.

I can't remember if we told the vet office to keep an eye on Lady Mae and do an exam while she was being boarded. Something tells me we did, but I honestly don't know.

Based on the limited records I have been able to get from the vet's office, it doesn't appear that any exam was done. I never thought it would be a fight to get an animal's medical records, but between changing ownership, changing computer systems, and other excuses from the vet's office, it proved to be one of the more challenging and frustrating things to come.

As I said in the very beginning, I do not think they did anything wrong as far as Lady Mae's care went. They were simply going through a lot of changes internally with staff and systems. To be fair, everything about Lady Mae's health issues proved to be way more than a local country vet encounters on a regular basis, if ever.

We picked everyone up on November 27th and over the next couple of days we saw some lethargy in Lady Mae. We made a vet appointment and she was seen on November 30th.

They drew labs, and the vet thought she had some sort of infection. He gave her a steroid shot and an antibiotic and didn't think anything of the strange licking behavior.

The antibiotic course was 10 days and although I wasn't really clear on the reason behind the steroid injection at the time, that would last in her system several weeks to a month. Jeff and I decided to bring Lady Mae to the studio where either Jeff or I stayed with her almost 24/7. We thought she would do better in a quiet environment.

I didn't question anything, I didn't put my nursing cap back on and find out the details, and I didn't even get a copy of the lab work. I didn't think anything serious was going on. She was only 6 months old. What could possibly be seriously wrong?

We gave her the medication and watched for signs of improvement, but there was very little. I knew now to keep an eye on her gums. They were so white, they almost had a blue tint. I know it probably seems absolutely crazy to anyone reading this that I didn't ask for the lab report, but I didn't.

I found out several months later that her lab work on November 30, 2023, revealed a critically ill cat in need of a transfusion pretty much immediately. Why that was never suggested is still a mystery.

• Red blood cell count: 0.64 (normal range is 6.54-12.20)
• Hemoglobin: 2.1 (normal range 9.8-16.2)
• Hematocrit: 4.38 (normal range 30.3-52.3)

I can only surmise that, for some reason, we were not supposed to have this information yet. I can't say what we would have done differently. Possibly we would have taken her immediately to Mississippi State for an evaluation and blood transfusion, but what then?

The Blame Game

Trust me when I tell you that I was madder than a hornet when I saw Lady Mae's lab report from November four months later. You may think I had every right to be mad at the vet, but the vet wasn't who I was most mad at.

It was me. I played the blame game, and I was the target. The guilt I carried from March through May was suffocating.

In life, I think we all have times when we go through the list of the should-haves and what-ifs.

• What if I had asked to see the labs myself?
• What if I asked more questions?
• I should have gone to the appointment.
• I should have paid closer attention.

The problem with the what-ifs and the should-haves is they aren't helpful, and they certainly don't allow you to move forward. In fact, being stuck in the what-ifs and the should-haves is detrimental to growth

Would Lady Mae's story have changed if we had known then what we know now? Probably, but would it have been the story Lady Mae was here to tell? Absolutely not.

The Cycle

Lady Mae probably should have died in early December, but on day 7 of her antibiotic therapy, she perked up, and her gums were pink. She was better!

Jeff and I were elated when we brought our girl home to be back with her best friends, and life went on as normal—for about six weeks.

This is a good time to mention that when it comes to my husband and myself, I'm the pessimist and he is the optimist. I bring a little harsh reality to him and he brings hope to me. It's a good balance.

When it comes to Lady Mae, I think Jeff understood the harsh reality way before me, they had a truly special connection to each other. When Jeff was home, Lady Mae was usually very close or on top of him and many nights she slept on his back or chest.

One night I woke up and looked over and saw her just sitting on his back watching him as he slept. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, mostly because with her on his back he wasn't snoring! That's just a little truthful humor injected in an otherwise very surreal moment.

She was watching him like a mother would watch a child, and he slept peacefully (and quietly).

I took a picture with my phone and looked at it. It was beautiful, and I couldn't wait to show Jeff in the morning—except it wasn't there in the morning. There were a few blurry pictures where you couldn't make out much of anything, but the good picture I took and saw with my own eyes, wasn't there. I still haven't found it and that is most likely a technical glitch, but I can't help but think maybe I wasn't supposed to capture that moment because it would tell too much.

It's now mid January 2024 and we noticed Lady Mae licking the walls again. I can't even remember if she had resumed her active kitten state during those six weeks, but I don't think so.

It's more likely that we just got used to her new normal which was a more sedate and less active kitten, but not to the degree that we thought anything was wrong like before. I wasn't even sure if the licking was related to her bout with anemia, which I figured was corrected after that first treatment.

In hindsight (there it is again), I would have asked the vet to do lab work after the course of antibiotics and steroid injection in November so we would have had an idea how her bone marrow responded to the treatment. However, there was no reason to think that this would happen again and certainly no reason to think that that piece of information would become important in March.

Jeff took her back to the vet on January 18, 2024 and they did some blood work. They decided to give her another steroid shot and another round of antibiotics.

As I found out later, her lab work was still pretty critical.

• Red blood cell count: 1.32 (normal range is 6.54-12.20)
• Hemoglobin: 1.9 (normal range 9.8-16.2)
• Hematocrit: 6.83 (normal range 30.3-52.3)

I'm not sure why the vet didn't suggest a specialist or ask us if we would take her to Mississippi State for an evaluation.

I could ask him, but that would be unfair. I would be asking him to evaluate something that happened in the past while having the knowledge of what the future held. He didn't act with malice and he cared about Lady Mae, that is answer enough for me.

Just so you know, I didn't feel this way in March. I did question the vet's actions or inaction in this instance. In fact, in March I told Jeff that had to switch vet clinics.

I don't feel that way now. I had several personal interactions with the vet in April and May, and I trust him. He's not perfect, and he is bound to make mistakes and errors in judgment sometimes. It's part of being human.

What he does have that is way more important to me is compassion and a genuine desire to help the animals. I can work with that kind of person any day.

As before, Lady Mae improved somewhere between days 5 and 7 of the antibiotic/steroid therapy, but I knew this was temporary. I'm not sure how or why, but I knew this cycle would repeat and I was definitely going to the next appointment.

Except that is not what happened because something came up that is comical, to say the least.

What's Wrong with Boots!

It was February 1st, 2024, and I was at work when Jeff texted me and said, "Something is wrong with Boots." What? Did he mean to say Lady Mae?

Before I could ask those questions, he sent a video of Boots and I immediately thought she either had some issue with her anal glands or was suffering from a spontaneous neurological incident.

I texted Jeff back and said to call and get an emergency appointment right away. This looks serious. I think he may have already initiated the call.

After looking at the video no less than 20 times and while Jeff was making an emergency vet appointment for her, it clicked. Boots was in heat. The vet office told Jeff the same thing at the same time I was texting him about it.

With all that was going on with Lady Mae, none of us, including the vet office, thought about spaying the kittens. It was always the plan to have it done when they were 5 or 6 months old, but time slipped past and we simply forgot.

We decided to wait to have them spayed until after Boots went out of heat, so on February 14th, both kittens were spayed. Of course, they did blood work prior to the surgery and I knew if Lady Mae's came back critical like before they wouldn't do the surgery.

When I got the report from February at the end of March, Lady Mae's labs looked really good. The counts were still low, but nothing like they were before.

• Red blood cell count: 4.28 (normal range is 6.54-12.20)
• Hemoglobin: 6.4 (normal range 9.8-16.2)
• Hematocrit: 20 (normal range 30.3-52.3)

Not Again!

About a week later, we noticed Lady Mae being more lethargic. She had fully healed from surgery, but it was that 4-week mark again, so we took her in on February 22nd and this time I went with Jeff to the appointment.

They drew labs and we waited until the results were back, during which time we spoke with the vet about putting her on an oral steroid as more of a maintenance dose while we tried to find out the underlying cause. We also talked about taking her to Mississippi State Vet School for an evaluation.

When the lab results were back (they run them in the office), the vet came back into the room and he seemed pretty happy. Happy may not be the right word, but he was definitely looking hopeful versus having a look of doom and gloom.

He went over her labs and they actually looked okay, for her anyway.

• Red blood cell count: 3.18 (normal range is 6.54-12.20)
• Hemoglobin: 4.8 (normal range 9.8-16.2)
• Hematocrit: 14.6 (normal range 30.3-52.3)

We did go over the labs from January and the two in February verbally, but I don't think it really sunk in just how low they were in January. I was more focused on the fact that the vet thought he might know the reason for her anemia and said if he was correct, Lady Mae was curable. As in, forever done with this anemia.

He thought he saw something on the blood smear that indicated switching antibiotics might fix all of this. A lot of different words like inclusion bodies, Bartonellosis, and a few other things were talked about and honestly I thought I understood what he was saying and at the time I think I did. It made sense, but I didn't realize that I would promptly forget important details.

I had every intention of writing everything down, but I didn't. I listened and asked all the questions I could think of.

After talking everything over, the vet was pretty hopeful (or maybe I just wanted to believe that) that this new antibiotic would fix Lady Mae once and for all. It was decided (mostly by me) that we would hold off on starting the oral steroid and see how the new antibiotic did on its own.

Steroids come with many potential side effects and starting oral dosing would require a taper at the end. My bigger concern was if we did both the steroid and the antibiotic together again and she cycled back down in 4 weeks, we wouldn't know any more than we have since November.

Looking back, this appointment was the most critical one, and I really wish I had taken good notes!

I asked the lady at the front desk to write down the name of the "bacteria" he thought he saw and was treating her for. She tracked the vet down and wrote the name on a small piece of paper. I put it somewhere, maybe in the bag of medicine, maybe in my purse, and I planned on looking everything up that I could about this illness or bacteria or whatever he was treating.

Except that didn't happen because we went back to our busy lives and if there is one thing I always need to remember about me is out of sight, out of mind. I forgot all about that piece of paper, and to this day, I have never found it. I'm pretty sure, that one day I will stumble across it and when I do it will be interesting to see what is written down. Does that little piece of paper hold any answers? I don't know.

What I do know is the records for Lady Mae that our local vet's office has sent to me doesn't contain detailed notes and there is no mention of the specific diseases that were discussed during the visit. They may have those detailed notes somewhere and I will talk to them about that for the records of our animals that still go there.

Lady Mae seemed to be doing fine and we thought she was finally going to put all of this behind her and enjoy uninterrupted kitten life. Little did we know that we were just in the opening chapters, there was so much more about to happen.

The Beginning of the End

It was early March now and we had short trip planned. We always board the dogs at our vet, but for a quick trip I'm fine with leaving cats for a couple of days. However, with Lady Mae's history, we boarded everybody and went on the short trip.

The new antibiotic appeared to be working just fine, Lady Mae was fine when we picked her (and the rest of our fur babies) up on March 4th.

We were back at our local vet on March 21st with a lethargic, but not overly so, Lady Mae. Maybe we were just used to her new normal, but I don't remember feeling super alarmed.

The vet started Lady Mae back on an antibiotic and gave her a steroid injection. He didn't draw labs and when I asked about that, he said that he didn't draw them because we were going to Mississippi State and they would draw them there.

I don't necessarily agree with his decision not to draw labs, but I have to remember that drawing blood does remove blood cells from the body and Lady Mae wasn't producing more. So, maybe that was the correct decision.

The good news is on March 25, 20024 were heading to Mississippi State Veterinary School to get answers and develop a plan of care for Lady Mae.

It never crossed my mind that we wouldn't get from Mississippi State what we came there for.

Mississippi State Must Have the Answers

On March 25, 2023, Jeff and I drove to the Mississippi vet school, which is about 2 ½ hours away from our house in Tennessee.

We were both hopeful but also realistic. We weren't sure if they would find something curable or incurable. What we wanted more than anything was answers and a plan of care.

Everyone was wonderful at MS State, especially the student assigned to us, Madison.

After a quick discussion about the first tests they wanted to run, they took our little girl back to run some lab work and Jeff and I waited in a very comfortable waiting area.

These were the tests they were running first. It's also important to note that we were told the SNAP screening test was done when Lady Mae was a kitten and that was negative, but they wanted to screen her again.

• CBC
• CMP
• Feline Snap Test to screen for Feline Leukemia

Once the basic lab tests were back, they came and got us and took us to an exam room. I don't even think Lady Mae was in that room at the time, but I can't remember for sure. Jeff seems to think they kept her in the hospital part.

The resident, Dr. C, started going over the results of the blood work and this is when I almost fell on the floor.

When she told me Lady Mae's current lab values, I wanted to cry. I'm pretty sure I did let a tear or two slip out and Jeff was looking a little glassy eyed as well. He may not have a medical background and may not understand the numbers, but he can read body language and tone.

There were a few other abnormal values and some discussion about her white blood cells, but I don't want things to get too confusing so I'm sticking with the same tests as I have shared throughout this story.

• Red blood cell count: 1.04 (normal range is 6.54-12.20)
• Hemoglobin: 1.5 (normal range 9.8-16.2)
• Hematocrit: 4.0 (normal range 30.3-52.3)

For me, this was the first time that I was faced with the thought that Lady Mae's condition was fatal. While I don't know what was going on in Jeff's head, his face told me he was facing the same harsh reality.

Okay, on to the rest of the preliminary testing and then it's time to make some decisions of what to do next.

• Snap Test screening for Feline Leukemia: Negative

Dr. C said she had reviewed the medical records for Lady Mae that were sent over by our local vet as well as the results from today and her preliminary diagnosis is:

• non regenerative anemia
• FELV/FIV infection suspected.

Wait. What? You just told us that her SNAP test was negative today and it was negative when Lady Mae was tested in July.

It was explained to us that the screening tests can be negative if the cat is not shedding the virus at the time of the test. They also went over that the non-regenerative anemia means that as the red blood cells are dying off as they normally do, Lady Mae's bone marrow is not producing new ones.

This can be caused by many different disease processes and they would start by ruling out the most likely causes. They also discussed doing a bone marrow biopsy which would be a more definitive, but more invasive test.

I have been in the room with patients as they had a bone marrow biopsy, and they are not comfortable. The needle is huge! I shared this with Dr. C and Madison and was surprised to hear that the needle is the same size they use on cats. Lady Mae only weighs 5 pounds!

Jeff and I discussed the options presented and decided to start with the least invasive testing and hold off on the bone marrow biopsy because it was possible we would have answers without it.

I felt like this plan was a collaboration between the medical staff and us, but when I read the discharge paperwork, it read a little differently.

The Plan

• Send off lab tests for IFA Fine with us ✔️
• Run some imaging to rule out tumors. Fine with us ✔️
• Give her a blood transfusion for critically low levels ✔️
• Send off a blood sample for Vitamin B12 and Folate and give her a B12 injection just in case. Fine with us ✔️
• Send off a test for FeLV, FIV, Feline Heartworm ✔️
• Send off a test for Mycoplasma ✔️
• Keep her overnight to do all of this. ✔️

Jeff and I drove back home, and I don't think either of us was that optimistic about Lady Mae's future.

The most important thing to us then and throughout the remainder of her life is that she felt loved and was as comfortable as possible.

Later that evening Madison called and said Lady Mae did fine with the transfusion and was resting comfortably.

The rest of the tests would be done in the morning, and then she would call us, and we could come and pick up Lady Mae.

The Long Wait

I checked in with the front desk and waited for the staff to come and get me to go over the test results and discharge instructions.

After an hour of waiting, I began to think I might not make it back for Tasty Tuesday. In case you don't know Tasty Tuesday is a live cooking show that Jeff and I host every other week.

That is one of the reasons we decided that I would go alone to pick up Lady Mae. Jeff needed to take care of the other animals and get over to the studio to set things up.

The plan was for me to drive the 2½ hours, get Lady Mae, and drive back. I arrived there just after 2 pm, which should have allowed plenty of time and I expected to be back to the studio by 6 pm at the latest. Tasty Tuesday starts at 7 pm.

Ordinarily, waiting this long would bother me. I can be impatient, especially when I have another commitment and don't want to be late. However, I was very patient because I knew the reason for the delay.

They were having an emergency. A gentleman brought in a very sick dog and the dog had died right next to me out in the waiting room shortly after I arrived. The staff acted quickly and efficiently and got the dog on the gurney and rushed him back to attempt resuscitation.

The owner was an elderly gentleman, and my heart broke for him. He wasn't aware that his beloved dog had died at his feet just minutes before they rushed out to get the dog.

Had I not seen this, would I have been a little upset and complained about the extra-long wait? Probably.

Would that have been fair to the staff? No.

It's enlightening to realize how I react to situations one way when I have all the facts and an entirely different way when I don't. Moving forward, I plan on reacting with kindness and understanding, even when I don't know the whole story. It feels good to be kind and there isn't enough kindness being shared in my opinion.

I did end up making it back for Tasty Tuesday, pulling in just a few minutes before 7 p.m. Someone watching the LIVE complained that I made them wait while I fixed a drink. I think that person can learn some of the same valuable lessons from Lady Mae's story as I have. That, in part, is why I'm writing it.

The Discharge

Once Madison called me back, we went into a nice conference room and she began to go over some of the test results that were back.

• A radiographic study of the abdomen didn't show any tumors or abnormalities.
• A Radiographic study of the thorax showed severe cardiomegaly
• PCV (packed cell volume) was 5 on admission and 13 after the blood transfusion

The rest of the tests were still pending (of course, they were the important ones, the ones that would give us answers, I thought), but expected to be back within the next few days. I was told I would be called when they were back.

Despite the two negative tests for Feline Leukemia, this was the diagnosis they were most leaning towards. Unfortunately, the result of the more sensitive test was still pending.

The cardiomegaly is an englarged heart and this means that Lady Mae's heart muscles aren't working effective. This happens with chronic anemia because the blood volume is less than normal and the heart has to work extra hard to pump the blood out into the body to oxygenate all the organs.

Madison also said that the imaging was done after the transfusion and that can also cause the heart to look enlarged because of the sudden increase in blood volume.

Perfect. Another, "we don't know exactly," answer. This one isn't a big deal to me though, I already suspected that Lady Mae's heart wasn't in tip top shape. During her cycles, when she was at her low point, she always developed a heart murmur and I could feel her bonding heart. This corrected itself as she moved towards the high point of her cycle.

What I really wanted to know is the underlying cause of all of this. If we knew that, we could tailor a plan to give Lady Mae the best quality of life no matter the quantity of time she has left.

Once she finished going over the results and that they were leaning towards Feline Leukemia as the cause of the non-regenerative anemia, I had a few questions.

One of them was whether Lady Mae and Boots could still live together if Lady Mae had Feline Leukemia.

Madison responded with something like, since they lived together before there shouldn't be any problem with them living together now. I am definitely paraphrasing here, but the gist of the answer was yes, they could live together.

This really made no sense to me since Feline Leukemia is so contagious, and even though Boots was vaccinated, the vaccine was not always effective. I had read that in previous research.

I let it go and decided to look further into this on my own, and then Jeff and I could make that decision.

Madison answered a few more questions that I had with patience and compassion.

I, on the other hand, was a bit upset and possibly a bit rude. Rude really isn't the correct word though. I had this feeling that something important was being missed. I even cried in frustration at one point.

Madison assured me they looked over all of Lady Mae's records from the local vet and the results from the tests they did. They discussed with the entire team many different possible causes for Lady Mae's illness.

We also revisited the bone marrow biopsy and discussed how the treatment would unlikely change no matter what they found in the biopsy. Although there was a slight possibility they would uncover something treatable, the odds of that were slim.

Lady Mae was going to start on Prednisone orally and we would monitor her labs through our local vet and wait for the rest of the results.

This is when I got a little heated. I asked for the medical records and not just the ones from Mississippi State, I wanted the ones my vet sent over.

The answer I received was the typical response that most, if not all, larger healthcare facilities give. "Your vet will receive the detailed medical records, and you can call for a summary in a few days when it is finalized."

Ummm, no, that is not acceptable, I said in a bit of angry tone. I want the same report that my vet receives. I want the details, every single one of them. I also want to know exactly what records my vet sent over so I can be sure you have all the necessary information on which to base your diagnosis and treatment plan and I'm not leaving here until I have them.

I explained to her that I had a surprise trip planned for Jeff's birthday in the early part of April, and I had some decisions to make about whether or not to cancel it. I had no plans of leaving Lady Mae if these were her last days, and I couldn't evaluate things without all of the information.

Madison said she can't give me the discharge report from Mississippi State because it hasn't been signed off yet, but she would call medical records and let them know to email it to me as soon as it was ready.

She also gave me her copies of the lab reports that my vet sent over.

There wasn't a follow-up appointment made with Mississippi State at this time.

They brought Lady Mae into the room and Madison walked me out. As we entered the lobby another vet student started to approach us and calling out, "Lady Mae, Lady Mae." She leaned down to look in the crate I was carrying with Lady Mae and said, "She is the sweetest kitten, I just love her."

"Yes, she sure is," I responded. The student went on to tell me how much she enjoyed spending time with her last night. It's the little things like this that fill my heart with joy. Lady Mae touched the souls of everyone she met.

Lady Mae and I got in the car and drove to the studio, where I went live for Tasty Tuesday.

Lady Mae stayed with me at the studio until we could figure out if bringing her home would put Boots at risk. I figured once the more sensitive Feline Leukemia test came back we would know one way or another if Lady Mae even had Feline Leukemia.

The Independent Research Begins

First thing in the morning on March 26, 2024, I created an airtable database for Lady Mae. I wish I had thought of this sooner because it is really handy to reference from any mobile device or computer.

I gathered all the information I had at my fingertips and started plugging in the information.

Lady Mae hung out with me under my desk.

INSERT PICTURE

March 26, 2024

It turns out that I didn't have a whole lot, but it was as start. One of the first sets of paperwork I grabbed was the copy of the labs M gave me that were sent by my local vet. As I started to plug in the lab results into the database, I realized that my local vet only sent February's lab results to Mississippi State, at least those are the only ones M gave me.

This could be a big deal because if Mississippi State didn't have the labs from November and January, they would not know that Lady Mae's labs were much better in February than they were in November. If her bone marrow isn't making new red blood cells, is it really possible for her RBC's to go from 0.65 to 4.32 in 3 months? Did the prednisone suppress the underlying disease to allow her bone marrow to function better?

All questions to ask Mississippi State when I talk to them next and I made a note about this and to verify if they did or didn't get labs from November and January from our local vet.

I realize there are more components of the blood work that may give them the information that they need to make their diagnosis then just the numbers I've been looking at (RBC, HCT, HGB) and even on the lab reports themselves it is noted that non-regenerative anemia is suspected and they only are going by that single result. It's all very interesting, isn't it?

I called our local vet to get all of her medical records either emailed to me or we would pick them up. Lady Mae had been there 8 times since November so I didn't expect it would take long to get the records.

I also called Mississippi State Medical Records to request her discharge summary, medical notes, and lab results emailed and they did that same afternoon. As I opened the attachments and went through them, I realized they only sent the lab work results. Where were the notes? Where was the discharge summary?

I called back and explained that the notes and discharge paperwork were not included, and I was told they were not available yet. I was a little upset by this, but that is only because I wanted to get this database set up so I could start to look at everything in one place.

I should say that I do not think I'm smarter than our local vet or the staff at Mississippi State. What I do think is they are looking at bits and pieces of information and I'm looking at it all and Lady Mae at the same time.

My goal was always to make sure everyone had the information they needed to make sound medical decisions for Lady Mae and that includes me.

March 27, 2024

First thing in the morning I called back to Mississippi State and requested the radiographic reports that they had done and asked them to send the discharge summary and medical notes.

The lady I spoke to was very nice and she sent an email back to me in just a few minutes. The radiographic reports were t here, but nothing else.

I can't remember if I called back that same day or the next day, but I didn't end up receiving the discharge information until April 8, 2024.

The Surprise Trip

It's March 26 and I've done all the research and planning for Jeff's surprise trip to Grand Cayman, but I haven't confirmed anything.

How can I? Everything is still so up in the air and we still don't know for 100% certainty what is wrong with Lady Mae.

It's a waiting game now.